Kyle Rittenhouse Receives Multiple Internship Offers From Washington Politicians

Kyle Rittenhouse may be on his way to a career on Capitol Hill. The babyfaced young scamp who captured the hearts of conservatives after shooting three people during a mission to help police during protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin, is a hot commodity among right wing members of Congress. They’re even competing for the right to hire him.

Prepresentative Lauren Boebert (R – CO) appeared on extremist propaganda outlet NewsMax, where she issued a challenge to fellow Congressional grifter Madison Cawthorn. The two will race in a sprint, with the winner claiming the services of the teenage killer. The challenge was made on the Greg Kelly Reports show.

“I am so thrilled at, uh, the jury’s verdict here. Now, I do have some colleagues on the hill who have, um, just like me, offered Kyle Rittenhouse an internship in their office. And, uh, Madison Cawthorn, he said he would arm wrestle me, uh, for this, uh, Kyle Rittenhouse internship.

But, Madison Cawthorne has some pretty big guns. So, I would like to challenge him to a sprint, instead. Let’s make this fair.”

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Lauren Boebert is a QAnon supporter who believes in ridiculous conspiracy theories. She was elected to Congress, where she has continued to support conspiracy theories. Now, she supports a young person who killed two people because of a poor decision he knowingly made.

Time will tell which member of Team MAGA wins the services of Kyle Rittenhouse. Maybe they can further the grift by offering the race for his services on pay-per-view. We wish the best of luck to those serious interns and staffers who will have to deal with the ensuing circus.

Who will win the rights to the labor of Kyle Rittenhouse? Make your wagers in the comments!

Transcription by Thirsty