It’s currently May 31st, one day before June flowers are supposedly popping up thanks to all those showers we received in May. That being said, it’s never too early to get ready for Christmas, especially if you’re cancelling Santa Claus.
For whatever reason, because Twitter is undefeated as always, “#CancelSanta” is trending like wildfire. Users have taken this opportunity to share their own unique reasons why Santa Claus should be cancelled.
The motherf*cker f*cked my cauliflower and corn, there is Santa semen all over them, I’m lucky he couldn’t get a single carrot! The mother f*cker f*cked my crops cancel that sh*t out of him! (Also he threatened a puppies life, that is also very serious and we should
Another person commented to say, “Santa kissed my f*cking wife.” Obviously, he isn’t a fan of yuletide cucking. There were a plethora of similar responses for Twitter lurkers to binge on.
CancelSanta mainly for 1) breaking and entering 2) abuse to his elves 3) demanding cookies and milk to drop gifts off 4) for getting a rich kid an Xbox but a poor kid socks 5) watching kids’ every move as an adult man? Yeah…bit creepy.
Also, we hope that nobody who believes in Santa Claus stumbles across this trend, because it might break their brain. Plenty of people chimed in to make a point to say that Santa is not real, he’s lying to kids, and that is why he should be cancelled like a celebrity who got caught using the N-Word 20 years ago.
I see #CancelSanta is trending and I swear to all things lighthearted I don’t want to look – I know it’s a dumpster fire over there but wtf is CancelSanta trending?! And please don’t tell me it’s b/c he’s a man, or that his story creation is a “cruel lie to tell children.”
This just proves that you never know what to expect when logging into Twitter. If anything, this should give you a chuckle if taking potshots at beloved mythical beings is your thing. Also, Santa Claus should be cancelled because “The Santa Clause 3” was a godawful movie. We can hash it out in the comments if you disagree.
What’s your take on this story? Sound off in the comments!